In case you were wondering, I still haven’t heard from Pastor Craig. Nevertheless, K’s dinner is shaping up nicely. We’re up to 12 people, which is a blow-out for someone once who cancelled her own surprise party.
When I checked in with a friend whom E-vite listed as “not-yet-replied,” I learned that I mistyped her e-mail address.
It got me to thinking. What if I had the wrong address for Pastor Craig? I’ve embarrassed myself enough to invite him, so I would be peeved if a missed keystroke kept him from coming.
After confirming online I had the right Pastor Craig, I made another call.
I was greeted by Sally, the mechanical voice of all things automated.
I’m sorry, but the number you reached is no longer in service.
I tried 411 next.
This time, Sally seemed impatient.
What city?
Is this a business or residence?
Please state the name of the business.
I’m sorry, I didn’t get that. Please restate the name of the business.
Please restate the name of the business. (By now, Sally was getting really pissed.)
Please hold while I transfer you to the next available operator.
The operator’s voice was high-pitched and twangy.
“Do you have an address for this church?”
“Sure.” I read her the address from online.
“Idonhavalistin.”
“Say what?” My head was starting to hurt.
“I don’t have a listing, ma’am.” She sounded more annoyed with me than Sally was.
“Ok, thank you.”
Instead of saying “thank you” in return, the operator transferred me back to Sally.
Thank you for using 411 connect.
Really? Are we so busy now that we can’t say thank you anymore? We need an automated voice to do it for us?
And, I still didn’t find Pastor Craig!
DivaScript 
Hahahahaha!! Hilarious, Dawn! Thanks for trying. Lol. My friend Jonathan said he was glad to meet everyone; he's finally convinced that the poeple I mention on a regular basis — you, Mae, Mil, Diane, etc. — are not my imaginary friends. Though, I think he still may believe that Craig is a figment of my imagination. And you might be thinking the same after all that! Lol.