Under Pressure

I’m scattered. I haven’t been on top of things the way I’d like to be. I wish I could say that I haven’t been on top of things the way I usually am, but let’s be honest. Organized Me is a constant work in progress.

Hubby is traveling again for work, so we begin the “two weeks on, two weeks off” dance anew.  He was home for six months, so I’d forgotten what solo parenting duty was like. Getting three ladies dressed and out the door every morning is much easier with a little help.

Our daycare closed unexpectedly a few months back, and we couldn’t find a single place that could take both the girls. Lil Ma is at a daycare not too far from home, and Mini Me is in her school’s aftercare program. Both close at 6 p.m., and both have dollar-a-minute late fees. I work 35 minutes away and can’t get out the door before 5:15. A fortune in late fees seems inevitable.

Work is ramping up too. New projects are coming in daily, which is a great problem to have, unless, of course, there aren’t enough people to get them all done. I’m flitting from task to task with little time to give my best self to any one project. I squeezed in two business trips last week, and I nearly missed a family event because of it.

And then, there are the gnats. I have been over every inch of this house, and I can’t figure out where those little pests are coming from.  Vinegar, you say? I’ve caught nothing more than a few specks of dust.

My shoulders are up to my earlobes (again). My jaw aches.  I’ve had a few moments where I felt my heart racing. My doctor put me on a 24-hour monitor to check for issues. Thankfully, he found none.

Something I heard at church this past Sunday reminded me to calm down. One of the deacons gave a short inspirational message that ended with this: “Pain is inevitable. Misery is optional.”

Deacon H is tall, lean, and quiet. He speaks just above a whisper, and I’ve never seen him be anything less than jovial. Even when his family was in the midst of tragedy, he remained unchanged. His message Sunday was a glimpse into the faith that calms his spirit.

Allowing the nits and gnats of life to wreck havoc on my body is totally unacceptable. I’m taking a lesson from Deacon H and placing faith and my focus where it matters. Plus, Hubby may be out of town, but that doesn’t mean I’m all alone. My dad and stepmom agreed to pick up Mini Me each afternoon, and they’ll get both girls once a week so I can go to yoga.

I’m not sure if I’ll ever meet the Organized Me of my dreams. The Walking-By-Faith Me? She sounds a lot more appealing, and I’m striving to meet her soon rather than later.

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4 thoughts on “Under Pressure

  1. Hey there! Hang in there. Deacon H sounds like a wise, spiritually grounded man. Glad your folks could pitch in and help. Take care!

  2. I always say that it isn’t so much that my work and home life are in conflict as that they gang up on me at times. I hope you ride this out to easier times soon!

    I have a double pick up crunch coming at the end of the year when my work moves. We’re considering hiring a college student to help out with pick up from after care, and maybe also get dinner started. I’m not sure if we’ll do it, but maybe it is something you could consider? (I have a friend who did this sort of work as a college kid and raved about it as relatively easy money + an informal mentoring thing- a chance to see how to make career + family work.)

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