I’m sitting in a tiny room in ICU for the seventh day in a row. This daily hour with my mom is part of my new schedule.
Wake up at 6:30. Go to work. Leave early. Go to hospital. Go home. Go to bed. The 6:30 alarm goes off again all too soon.
I’m tired. Mentally more than physically. My mother is not the same, and it will be a slow process for her to come back to herself. The brain is unpredictable and amazing, so it cannot be put on a schedule. We will have to wait.
It’s scary to watch. My mother has always been witty and sharp. Right now, I’m listening to her tell me about Lady Astercat, a figment of her imagination. I want to burst out into tears, but instead, I ask what color bow she wears. Momma tells me pink and that she drew her. “She’s a well drawn cat,” she says. “It’s a really pretty picture. Lady Astercat is a prominent, significant figure.” I’m thankful for the solid, declarative sentence and that she still has a big vocabulary. One day it will all make sense again.
Until then, I will continue to wait and be prayerful. I must also be mindful to take care of myself.
Which has not been without its challenges. I forgot to eat on Monday, then I had 5 taco supremes at midnight. Not good. I know I have to do better.
“She comes from a strong line,” Momma says.
“Who?” I ask.
“Elyse,” she says. “It’s a real strong line.”
Yes, it’s a real strong line. We will get there in time.
— Post From My iPhone