This morning, an article in a friend’s timeline caught my eye. It was called “8 Things Women Just Don’t Do Anymore (That They Should!)”
Based on the title, I figured I wouldn’t like a thing the article had to say, but I decided to read it anyway. I clicked the link and told myself to keep an open mind.
The author lists cooking, cleaning, and dressing up for dates as “old-fashioned” ideals that some women have abandoned in favor of becoming “Ms. Independent.” She suggests that a woman can walk the line between “Suzy Homemaker” and her modern alter-ego.
I huffed, closed the link, and started my day. The article bugged me, and at first, I couldn’t put my finger on why. Honestly, the list itself didn’t bother me. I cook. I clean. I dress up for dates. The author says a woman should support and respect her guy, and I agree. She says the respect should work both ways. I agree with that too.
While the kid’s napped, I took another look at the post, and found my problem. It was in the introduction.
It mentions a Julia Roberts movie, Mona Lisa Smile, as an example of what women were “bred to do.” In the movie, ladies went to college, found a husband, and settled down.
Bred to do? That phrase severely truncates the possibilities of both women and men. It aligns us against a set of standards that don’t work for everyone and implies that these specific eight things are a woman’s responsibility only. It marginalizes our potential and the contributions of women before us. If she had listed cure the common cold after that intro, I would have been just as bothered.
Hubs and I take turns doing many of these for each other, and it works. I would seriously miss his seafood pasta and chocolate chip cookies if the meals were left to me.
A relationship definitely requires effort from both parties, so it was nice to see that she did a companion article about the eight things a man should do. However, the intro got me again, because it credits the feminist movement and Beyoncé songs for the independent woman ideal.
Huh? Was feminism incomplete until Beyoncé’s 21st-century jams came along? I’m not so sure about that. I’d have to go to my history books to delve into this, and I don’t have the energy to go there.
Anyway, I’d love to hear what you have to say. Leave a comment and let me know what you think!
I enjoyed this post as it shows my growth as a man more than ever. Years ago, I used to be part of that male crowd that had a long list of things in which a woman should do. And you know what I found? I found that my relationships went much more smoother when whatever woman and I worked as a team. For myself, the overall sentiment was “one to grow on.” Just as you stated, there are things that your husband enjoy doing for you/his family that has nothing whatsoever to do with any feminist move or anything of the sort. And I too find it laughable whenever anyone credits Beyonce for a feminist movement. Beyonce is an entertainer, period. She gets paid to entertain consumers. I think these people would be better off following the likes of philosopher Ayn Rand and others like Rand for feminism.
Lastly, there isn’t anything wrong with any woman being “Miss Independent,” but I’d like to see more articles touching upon the benefits of women and men working together, opposed to articles that seemingly separate us further apart.
Yes, indeed — Teamwork makes the dream work! If Hubs and I stuck to stereotypical roles, we’d be a mess.
Yeah, Beyonce as a feminist, ha!
This article is insulting on so many levels. “You can still have your career and your own mind and what not” — “and what not”? I don’t who are the “women these days” that the author is talking about and preaching to. I “keep myself up” for me — not because I’m “a reflection of my man”.
Yeah, this one had a lot of problems in it. I forgot all about the “and what-not” – what a lovely way to sum up the choices a woman can make. Ugh.