Marriage

Not too long before my wedding, a coworker handed me a large cosmetic bag. It was filled with things a bride might need in a pinch, like hair pins and stain remover. It even had crayons and an miniature activity book for my daughter.

I honestly can’t remember everything she gave me, but the gift went a long way in helping me feel at ease on my big day. There are a million things that could go awry during a wedding, but with my emergency kit, I was prepared for a lot of them. Plus, the cosmetic bag itself was awesome. I still use it for travel. It was by far the one of the most thoughtful wedding gifts I received.

Since that time, I’d taken the idea and tweaked it for birthdays and baby showers. But I had yet to return to the original concept.

I took the opportunity to do so for a coworker who is getting married soon. Because I blanked on what was in my kit from five years ago, I did a little digging online for suggestions on what to include. It turns out you can purchase pre-made kits for anywhere from $16 – $100. I wasn’t really impressed, so I stuck with the decision make my own.

Before I go through my list, here are few things to keep in mind.

Make a list first. This will keep you from going overboard in the travel aisle.

Check your personal stash. Even with a list, a visit to the travel aisle can get pricey. So it’s good to start by seeing what you already have. You probably don’t need to put 100 bobby pins in the kit. Ten or so will do. Also take a look at any miniature freebies you may have collected from travels. Those little vanity or dental kits are perfect for this type of thing. Samples and cosmetic bags from beauty gifts with purchase are great too.

Keep an eye out for sales. This past winter, I raided clearance sections for deeply discounted stocking stuffers, like manicure sets and mini nail polishes. (Those mani kits were 25 cents each!)

Get creative with packaging. I have countless little envelopes and baggies from spare buttons. Those are just the right size for hair pins or earring backs. You can also attach bobby and safety pins to a strip of ribbon.

A fancy cosmetic bag is cool, but not necessary. An organza gift bag or even a plastic zip-top one work just as well.

Here’s what I assembled for the bride-to-be:

General Healthcare
Tissue
Pain reliever
Bandages
Breath mints
Dental floss
Cotton pads
Cotton swabs

Clothing Repair
Sewing kit
Safety pins
Stain remover
Lint roller
Wrinkle release
Fashion tape (I found this after I gave her the kit…BUMMER!)

Hand and Nail Care
Hand cream
Nail clippers
Emory board
Clear polish
Polish remover wipes

Hair
Hair pins
Bobby pins
Hair spray (I forgot this too.)

Misc
Earring backs

If you decide to make one of these, I’d love to hear how you customized it!

This morning, an article in a friend’s timeline caught my eye. It was called “8 Things Women Just Don’t Do Anymore (That They Should!)”

Based on the title, I figured I wouldn’t like a thing the article had to say, but I decided to read it anyway. I clicked the link and told myself to keep an open mind.

The author lists cooking, cleaning, and dressing up for dates as “old-fashioned” ideals that some women have abandoned in favor of becoming “Ms. Independent.” She suggests that a woman can walk the line between “Suzy Homemaker” and her modern alter-ego.

I huffed, closed the link, and started my day. The article bugged me, and at first, I couldn’t put my finger on why. Honestly, the list itself didn’t bother me. I cook. I clean. I dress up for dates. The author says a woman should support and respect her guy, and I agree. She says the respect should work both ways. I agree with that too.

While the kid’s napped, I took another look at the post, and found my problem. It was in the introduction.

It mentions a Julia Roberts movie, Mona Lisa Smile, as an example of what women were “bred to do.” In the movie, ladies went to college, found a husband, and settled down.

Bred to do? That phrase severely truncates the possibilities of both women and men. It aligns us against a set of standards that don’t work for everyone and implies that these specific eight things are a woman’s responsibility only. It marginalizes our potential and the contributions of women before us. If she had listed cure the common cold after that intro, I would have been just as bothered.

Hubs and I take turns doing many of these for each other, and it works. I would seriously miss his seafood pasta and chocolate chip cookies if the meals were left to me.

A relationship definitely requires effort from both parties, so it was nice to see that she did a companion article about the eight things a man should do. However, the intro got me again, because it credits the feminist movement and Beyoncé songs for the independent woman ideal.

Huh? Was feminism incomplete until Beyoncé’s 21st-century jams came along? I’m not so sure about that. I’d have to go to my history books to delve into this, and I don’t have the energy to go there.

Anyway, I’d love to hear what you have to say. Leave a comment and let me know what you think!