Dance Mom Blues

Posted by Yoga Bynum

I was miserable.

The windowless changing room at the local community theatre was crowded and hot, and my hair’s twist out was quickly becoming a thing of the past. The air was thick with humidity and excitement. Fifty girls scurried about, changing into multicolored sequins leotards and tutus. Stray green feathers and purple fringe littered the linoleum. Tap shoes clacked to various beats at a painful decibel. A group of ballerinas sang “Little Sally Walker” repeatedly for 10 minutes straight.

Whenever recital season comes around, I feel like Danny Glover’s character from Lethal Weapon – too old for this. The other moms in the room looked shell shocked. Maybe it was the heat, or maybe they felt just like I did.

Being a dance parent is a J-O-B, and it takes a level of commitment and God-given patience that I do not possess. There are five good reasons the Dance Mom Life is not for me.

1. I already have a job. Making it to a 4:30 p.m. dress rehearsal is no easy feat when I work until 5:30. Mini Me expressed an interest in competition dance, and there was no way we could swing it. Travel, extra classes, and additional performances don’t fit into our current schedule.

2. I have a toddler. Lil Ma is too young for dance class and too impatient to sit through a three-hour rehearsal, two-hour recital, or even a 15-minute parents’ meeting. I have to arrange for her to be elsewhere, and that adds more complexity and stress to dance events.

3. Hubby travels. A lot. We divide and conquer when we can, but Hubby’s job sends him out of town frequently.

4. Chaos makes me nervous. No matter how organized the dance school, there is bound to be chaos when you combine girls, glitter, sequins, and songs from the Frozen soundtrack. I can’t deal.

5. Recitals are long. Too long. This year’s recital has 52 dance numbers. I wish I were kidding. Mini Me’s in three performances, and the last one is about halfway through. When the recital is over, I’ll be running for the nearest bottle of Merlot.

But it’s not about me.

I accept the title of Dance Mom because of Mini Me. She loves dance. And as much as I grumble about how much dance parenting stinks, I wouldn’t change it. (Well, that’s not totally true. I would shorten the recitals by about 35 dance numbers.)

Changing my world, five minutes at a time

Posted by Yoga Bynum

Happy Thursday! Today, I’m revisiting a post from a few years back. I was overwhelmed, buried under a demanding job, family needs, and undone chores. This was my pledge to take control. It helped. A lot. I think I’ll be revisiting this idea during the summer. Shifting camp schedules, vacations, and a promotion (heck yeah!) could be a recipe for overload.

DivaScript

Life is becoming more complicated by the minute. More often than not, life gets in the way of living life, if that makes sense at all. I have a full-time job, a part-time job, a family, and a long-ago abandoned list of hobbies. Sometimes I feel as if I’m running in circles. There are mornings that I’m lucky to leave the house with my hair combed.

I’ve got a list of things that I want to do, but I can’t get to them for one reason or another. Cleaning my oven, reorganizing my closet, finishing my daughter’s baby book. So I’ve decided to tackle these things, one project at a time, five minutes at a time.

Five minutes? I know, it might sound crazy, but sometimes five minutes is all I’ve got. Plus, I’m a little like a crocodile (or is it an alligator?). I have short bursts of focused…

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Better Luck Next Year – Summer Camp 2015

Posted by Yoga Bynum

In January, I received a handful of brochures for local summer camps.

“Too soon.” I thought. After briefly flipping through them, I tucked them away for spring.

Then I forgot about it until a month before school let out. So basically, I missed the boat. Again. Luckily, Mini Me’s school is having a camp this year, and registration opened in May.

Summer camp is serious business. If you don’t have your plans figured out by spring break, then it’s rough finding a solution before the close of the school year. Here’s what I’ve done now to make sure I’m in better shape for 2015.

1. Asked around. Get recommendations from parents and teachers. A friend of mine enrolled her daughter in a free camp offered by D.A.R.E. and local law enforcement. Mini Me’s teacher sent us a notice about another free camp where kids plant a community garden to learn about food production. (I looked at the e-mail two weeks too late. Sigh)

2. Reviewed outdated brochures. Some camps wouldn’t have worked for us because of location, camp hours, or price. Others seem as if they would be good options. Most of them have detailed registration procedures with incentives for early enrollment.

3. Made note of annual activities. Our school generally lets out around Memorial Day and starts again in early August. My mother-in-law takes Mini Me on an week-long trip every July. I need to keep these dates in mind.

With this general information, I filled my calendar with reminders.

August 2014: Check in with friend on D.A.R.E. camp. How was it? Would she consider it again for next year?

January 2015: Check to see if camps of interest have released new schedules. Review information and make additional calendar reminders based on registration dates.

Early February: Do a second check on camp schedules. Update registration reminders if needed.

Late February – Early March: Turn in registrations. Breath a sigh of relief.

It will be a while before I can let you know how this worked out, but it’s got to be better than the alternative.

How do you stay ahead of summer planning?

The Eight Things a Woman Should Do… Say What???

Posted by Yoga Bynum

This morning, an article in a friend’s timeline caught my eye. It was called “8 Things Women Just Don’t Do Anymore (That They Should!)”

Based on the title, I figured I wouldn’t like a thing the article had to say, but I decided to read it anyway. I clicked the link and told myself to keep an open mind.

The author lists cooking, cleaning, and dressing up for dates as “old-fashioned” ideals that some women have abandoned in favor of becoming “Ms. Independent.” She suggests that a woman can walk the line between “Suzy Homemaker” and her modern alter-ego.

I huffed, closed the link, and started my day. The article bugged me, and at first, I couldn’t put my finger on why. Honestly, the list itself didn’t bother me. I cook. I clean. I dress up for dates. The author says a woman should support and respect her guy, and I agree. She says the respect should work both ways. I agree with that too.

While the kid’s napped, I took another look at the post, and found my problem. It was in the introduction.

It mentions a Julia Roberts movie, Mona Lisa Smile, as an example of what women were “bred to do.” In the movie, ladies went to college, found a husband, and settled down.

Bred to do? That phrase severely truncates the possibilities of both women and men. It aligns us against a set of standards that don’t work for everyone and implies that these specific eight things are a woman’s responsibility only. It marginalizes our potential and the contributions of women before us. If she had listed cure the common cold after that intro, I would have been just as bothered.

Hubs and I take turns doing many of these for each other, and it works. I would seriously miss his seafood pasta and chocolate chip cookies if the meals were left to me.

A relationship definitely requires effort from both parties, so it was nice to see that she did a companion article about the eight things a man should do. However, the intro got me again, because it credits the feminist movement and Beyoncé songs for the independent woman ideal.

Huh? Was feminism incomplete until Beyoncé’s 21st-century jams came along? I’m not so sure about that. I’d have to go to my history books to delve into this, and I don’t have the energy to go there.

Anyway, I’d love to hear what you have to say. Leave a comment and let me know what you think!